


Kink Meme Fill

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Kink Meme, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-11
Updated: 2013-06-11
Packaged: 2017-12-14 16:36:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/839028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eridan gets a new boyfriend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kink Meme Fill

Your name is Eridan Ampora, even though you are almost 22 years old, you still haven’t had your first kiss, sadly you also don’t have boyfriend; which brings us to what you’re doing now, flirting with a total stranger…over the internet. Some people would say this is foolish, however he seems nice, and the two of you will meet up at a local café sometime soon.   
== > be the online boyfriend  
You are unable to be the online boyfriend, we don’t know him yet!  
== > do it anyway  
I told you no!  
== > I DON’T CARE DO IT!  
This is my story shut up  
== > . . .  
== > DO IT  
UGH FINE  
You are now BRO STRIDER, you just met super flirty guy on the internet, seeing as you are both single and bored, you’ve agreed to meet him.   
== >skip this I’m bored  
You are now Eridan once more, you are beginning to think that you’ve been stood up, yet again. This is terrible; you really have the worst luck in love. Oh look! Could that be him?? Thankfully, it seems to be, at least, you hope so, since he sat at your table…  
“Are you my date?”  
“Are you disappointed?”  
You begin to mentally beat yourself up, wow Eridan way to look stupid on the first date; I mean really why else would he sit there? Pay attention! He’s been sitting there for FIVE MINUTES!!  
“Struck speechless by beauty no doubt”  
“N-nice to meet you, in person that is” Oh just great a stutter wow! He’s never gonna talk to you again.  
== > Eridan: Quit being a pussy and pay attention to your date  
Ok ok. Jeez  
“Nice to meet you too”  
== > skip to where they frickle frackle  
No they don’t do that  
== > yes they do  
I said no  
== > then skip ahead  
Fine.  
Two months later  
== >not that far  
Haha fuckin deal with it  
You are now Eridan Ampora, and you are pretty fuckin late, this is a disaster. You can’t find a place to park, and if your inside in about 2.2 seconds, Kanaya will be furious, and when she’s angry, you wouldn’t put it past her to slice a fella in half. You rush up the stair to her apartment, why did the fuckin elevator have to be broken?? And, as usual, you are the LAST ONE THERE, even Egbert got here before you.   
“Heyy Kanayyaa! Eridaan is heeerrree!!” oh great Rose is already hammered, she barely stand. You pry from her grip and take in your surroundings, Dave is trying (way to hard) to impress Terezi with his “sick rhymes”, John appears to be having a seizure or maybe dancing, as do Gamzee, Tavros, and Nepeta, Aradia and Sollux are quietly arguing in the corner, and Feferi, Vriska, and Equius are sitting on the couch. Total chaos as usual.  
It seems that you’ve forgotten someone! Who could it be?   
“What the fuck, Eridan, why are you so fucking late!”  
“Karkles calm down!”  
“Don’t fucking call me that!”  
Eugh, you walk away as Jade tries (and fails) to calm, the ever angry Karkat.  
“So Eridan, why, exactly, were you so late?”  
“Well, Vriska, I have a boyfriend” you smirk at her, smug. She is still single.  
She bursts into laughter.   
“Oh that’s rich! You with a boyfriend! I’ll believe it when I see it!”  
“Fine! I’ll invite him to our Christmas party!”  
“You do that Eridan”  
== > skip to the party  
Fine fine  
You are once more BRO STRIDER, and your boyfriend, Eridan just texted you. He wants you to go to his friend’s Christmas party. Well why not?  
== > I said to the party  
God damnit you can’t rush a good story!  
== >party  
No  
== >party now  
Whatever  
You are now Eridan Ampora, and your boyfriend can DANCE. You on the other hand cannot, which is fine by him, seeing as grinding on you is what he wants to do anyway.  
== > be the cool kid  
I’m tryin-  
== > COOL KID. NOW.  
You are now Dave Strider, and you just arrived at the party your friend Feferi is hosting for Christmas. You look around, taking in your surroundings, people, dancing people, lame people, HOLD UP IS THAT BRO!? It is and he’s dancing with, or rather, grinding on, Eridan; you actually legitimately freeze, when they kiss, your bro is ERIDAN’S BOYFRIEND!   
“BROOOOOO!” you shriek, the scream coming from nowhere.


End file.
